Friday, July 2, 2010

Top Ten Tips To Living Fully

Recently, I was asked by a journalist what would be my top ten tips to become more conscious and fulfilled in life. The lady was writing an article on the Soul Contract Readings I give, and wanted to include some spiritual advice as part of the article. It really got me to think about how I live my life and what advice do I share with people in my sessions and workshops. Here is my list for creating Heaven on Earth and living life more consciously and fully. I hope you find it useful. I am not wishing to set myself up as a spiritual guru, this is more to share with you what works for me and perhaps it could work for you.

1. Follow your heart, it is the wisest part of you. Most of us learn to disconnect from the heart’s gentle tugging early on in life and rely heavily on reason to make decisions. While the mind is very good at organising ideas and concepts and seeing the different aspects of things, it is not very good at discerning the truth. This is where the heart is King. Truth is an elusive thing, which can seem to go against reason, because the mind is inherently conservative and doesn’t want to take risks. I have learned to follow my heart in all the major decisions in my life. It has taken me on an amazing journey and I don’t regret a minute of it. The heart is inherently courageous, the more you follow your heart, the more courage becomes unleashed to leap off into the unknown and into what your soul has planned for you!

2. Do what you love, love what you do. So many of us do jobs that we dislike, live lives that feel empty and unfulfilling. It is like a kind of dying. It leads to stress, conflict, depression and ultimately disease. When we love what we are doing, our body feels relaxed, the mind feels focused, we are creative, we radiate health and positivity to all around us, and most importantly we are happy. And we all deserve to be happy, don’t we? So if you are unhappy in your life, take a look at what are those moments when you feel dull and de-energised, this is your cue that you should not be doing this. For me this is doing my bookkeeping. The great thing is that we are all so varied and different. And that for every job you hate, there is someone else who would probably love it. I found a lovely bookkeeper who takes great pride and pleasure in doing my books. We are all happy. And if you don’t know what to do, pay attention to what makes you feel alive, passionate and inspired. This is your cue that this is the right direction for you. Follow it, it will lead you to true creativity and a fulfilled life beyond your wildest dreams.

3. Let go of the old and what isn’t working for you. This is a kind of extension on the above, and relates to doing a bit of feng-shui in your life. One of the truths of life, is that things change and are impermanent. Often we forget this and just because something has worked for a while we tend to think it should be forever. This is true for all aspects of life, be it your diet, your relationships, your job, everything. It can be hard to spot because as humans we are creatures of habit. We can get into ruts of what is familiar and known. It is “comfortable”. Again it requires a bit of honesty to look at an aspect of your life and realise, this is not working anymore. It can be easy to change if it is something relatively small such as the colour of your bedroom, or it can require a huge leap of faith, such as a change of career. What I do know, is that every time a door closes, many more open. By saying no to the job that is draining you, or the relationship where your needs are not met, you are also saying yes to a fantastic new reality. Have courage, let go, and let the universe pour its gifts out to you.

4. Trust Yourself. So many of us grow up not trusting ourselves. We don’t trust our body to tell us what to eat and how much and end up with weight issues. We listen to everybody else to tell us what we should do in life, with whom and how. This all leads to a great deal of heartache and feelings of disempowerment. It has taken me years to learn to trust myself again. And when I have not trusted myself and followed an external authority, I always end up finding out that my gut instincts were correct and I should have trusted myself. Trusting yourself is the most loving thing and empowering thing you can do. Ultimately, trusting yourself, reconnects you to your feelings, to your intuition, to your essence. The more you trust yourself, the more your intuition opens. It does require courage again, and the maturity to stand by your decisions and their consequences, even when they seem to cause a lot of turmoil around you.

5. Be kind and loving towards yourself. You are the main person in your life, the constant component which is in every action, decision and experience. Do you deserve love in every moment of your life? Of course you do. As a child of God, a creation of the Divine, you are special and unique just the way you are, warts and all. Do you yearn for unconditional love and appreciation from those around you? Then give it to yourself. Write out a list of all your gifts and qualities. I did this with my nine year old son. His confidence at school had been knocked by constant criticism of his writing skills. The teachers always seemed to focus on what was not right, instead of what he is doing right. Does that ring a bell? I spent about ten minutes with him typing out all of his gifts and qualities. We came up with about 80. I am sure if you do this exercise you will easily fill a page. This is an incredibly empowering and uplifting exercise to do. It can help change your mindset from the constant critic to a more loving and gentle attitude towards yourself. You can give yourself love by telling yourself how much you love yourself daily, when you look in the mirror, you can do a meditation with it. Spend time in front of a mirror and look at yourself as if you had never seen your reflection before. What can you see in those eyes? In this face? Can you love this person? Say it out loud. Let your body hear how much you are loved.

6. Express Gratitude for all you have. I learned this one a long time ago and it makes a huge difference in life. It shifts the mind to focussing on the half empty glass to the half full glass. And as you know, what you focus on grows, it is a Universal Law. So if you keep your focus and feel grateful for all you have, the universe keeps giving you more of it. The energy of gratitude resonates at the same frequency as Love and Abundance. So guess what, when you express gratitude, it opens your heart and you open to abundance. Magic!

7. Try something challenging regularly. Some of you might wonder at this advice after all the above about loving yourself and doing what you love. The point of it is that we have inherent resistances in our system, that stop us growing and fulfilling our potential. You could call these fears or programming too. In a way the ego is a closed system. It wants to maintain a status quo, not be challenged and stay in control. By challenging ourselves, we break out of the box and grow in ways, which we would not have otherwise experienced. It takes a little courage, but the rewards are huge.

8. Let your gifts shine. We all have thousands of gifts and qualities and to state the obvious they are to be used. The difficulty is that we often let hang ups and low self esteem hold us back. When we let our gifts shine, we shine a light in the world. Don’t be afraid to say the truth, express how much you love someone, give a hug, smile to a stranger. Imagine you are like the sun. Your purpose is to shine, to warm and energise all those around you. Whatever your gifts are, use them to the full and make the world a richer and better place. And you will feel so fulfilled!

9. Forgive yourself and others. The journey of life is full of disappointments, hurts, wounds. We have all experienced this. Holding on to grudges and grievances is a huge burden. It saps your energy and eventually can make you sick. When we forgive, we free ourselves as well as the other person or situation. It frees the energy up so you feel more alive and creative in your life. Forgiveness is compassion. It is recognising that every action is always dictated by how we are programmed in that moment. And so we are truly innocent. We are not doing “bad” for the hell of it, we are just programmed a certain way. And the thing is that we have to make so-called “mistakes” in order to grow. So there are no mistakes, it is all perfect. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to move forward, free like the wind, and full of aliveness and wisdom.

10. Be still, be present to the beauty of every moment. Whenever I get rattled or overwhelmed I know that I need to come back to stillness. My guides often communicate to me in songs, and I hear them singing “Be still and Know, That I Am God”, repeating it over and over. We live in a super pressured world, always trying to fit in more, be more efficient and productive. It’s easy to lose our centre in that, and to start living on the outside of ourself. But then the beauty of life evades us. After all how long is life? Since having a child I have become so much more aware of the passing years. Already he is nine, another nine years and he will be leaving home. Every moment is precious, whether it is with yourself, your food, your family, expressing your creativity in your work. Every moment is filled with huge potential to create. Be still and know, that You are God.

Thank you for reading. I hope this is of service to you.
With all my Love and Blessings.

To find out more about how you can move towards this state click here

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